Gamers for years have argued that games - things which they (and I) know and love - can be timeless. That in many years to come, many generations will enjoy this game again and again. In this series, Addicted Geek will ask a 12 year-old (his name will remain secret, for his own safety) what he thinks of the so-called ‘Timeless’ games. This 12 year-old is a confirmed geek, but yet has never played a game published before 2001. He is as intellegent as you or I, and will own the world some day. He owns a high end PC, a Xbox360 and a PS2, but that is all. Surely, if placed in front of a so called ‘Timeless’ game, he will enjoy it as much as we did when the game was first published?
First up, Goldeneye. You remember the day when you bought this, did you not? You remember the day where you put this wonderful cartridge of delight into your N64, do you not? You remember wasting hundreds and hundreds of hours on this game, enjoying the delights of Temple, of the various deathmatch fun you had with up to - that’s right - UP TO 4 people! Ah, the good old days…
But enough daydreaming. A week ago, the day my exams finished, I lugged my N64 and a copy of this wonderful game (in pristine condition, I might add) to his abode, and I went and got it back this morning. Below is the conversation we had.
Addicted Geek: So, what did you think of Goldeneye, then?
Mini Geek: Admittedly, it was a good fun. For about 20 seconds.
AG: (aghast) What do you mean? Surely you must’ve enjoyed some of the singleplayer?
MG: Hah! The singleplayer was one of the worst I have ever played. The storyline seemed latched on and forced, and the level design was terrible - I kept on getting lost! The cluncky graphics didn’t help either - if you could call those boxes ‘graphics’ at all. There were also so many bugs in the game - I got stuck in the stairs, and the way aim is controlled is horrible. I didn’t like it anyway. The controls again seemed forced. And as for the AI, it’s about the same as the zombies in Crimsonland - ‘move towards you and fire - don’t care if a wall is in the way - run into wall’ and so on and so forth.
AG: (At crying state) Oh come on, remember this was years back when AI and graphics weren’t as developed as they were now…
MG: But remember you wanted me to review this game at the same ‘timeless’ level at the games nowadays. I can see why it was so popular when it first came out, but nowadays very few aspects of the game stand out, and many more pull it back.
AG: Good point. Alright, what did you think about the multiplayer then? Surely you got some fun out of that…
MG: After the singleplayer, I wasn’t particularly confident about the multiplayer…
AG: But you did have a go, right? I gave you four controllers…
MG: Yeah, I called some friends round and we had a go.
AG: Did any of your friends ever play Goldeneye before?
MG: No. We had all heard about it, either from you or someone about your age or older, but none of us had ever actually played it.
AG: Ah. I see. So how did you think about the multiplayer?
MG: It was some fun. It definetly lasted me longer than the singleplayer did, and we did play a few games before tossing it aside. Once again the fiddly controls and cluncky graphics pulled be back, and it wasn’t long before we pulled out Halo 2.
AG: You sad loser.
MG: Back at you.
AG: Good point
At this point Mini Geek’s mum came into the room and asked me if I wanted to stay for lunch. I declined, unsure about what his parents were feeding him. I went home, carrying my N64 under my arm, now with a crumpled Goldeneye box and cartridge, and 4 freyed controllers. Depressed.
Next Week: ‘What do you mean, you’ve never played the original Half Life?’
Please note that Mini Geek’s opinions does not coincide with Addicted Geek’s. Please don’t kill me…