Me: How long have you been at QJ now?
Macca: Well, since June 05. So about 2 1/2 years.
Me:What did you think of QJ when you first came? Good? Bad? Sexual?
Macca:When I first joined, there were about a 1000 members. All I remember me making ****ing retarded posts having something to do with some Tony Hawks game. So, it was kinda bad, but got better.
Me:Who were the first people you met there?
Macca:Uh, first person I really got to know was Xodiac21, when he made a kick ass avatar for me.
Macca:It said Macca-Hacker (Which was my old user name) and had a PSP with like matrix text. 'Twas ****ing cool.
Me: Did you make any friends in the beginning? Any people you thought were interesting, or maybe people that you hated?
Macca:Uh, really just Xodiac at the start. We ended making a few ****ty homebrew releases for the PSP. He then told me to come visit the MDPR in about December/January. I was skeptical at first, but, with the help of alcohol, I joined. First person I didn't like was Torrobbinson. We had a huge flame war in the MDPR, which led to it getting locked.
Me:What kind of alcohol?
Macca:Prolly rum. I also can't find my shoes.
Me: What kind of shoes?
Macca: They were Jandals. That's the New Zealand name for them. I dunno if you guys even have them. They're like, a piece of rubber, with a kinda V strap that goes between your toes.
Me:We call them thongs.
Macca: I was thinking that. I just didn't want to sound like I was wearing underwear on my feet.
Me: What was the flame war about? How did it start?
Macca: Uh, if I remember correctly, he was flaming someone, I can't quite remember who it was. Well, the rest of us Mdpartiers joined up, and pretty much flamed the hell out of him. In the end DFS locked the room, which was the first time is was seriously locked.There also might have been some of the Mexican mafia involved.
Me:Was it gmans biker gang?
Macca:Nah. Gman isn't really mexican. It's all a hoax. He's really from Alaska. He just thinks he's cool.
Me:So who was connected with the mafia?? Steven?
Macca: To this day, I still don't know.If it was Steven, it probably would have been the Triads.
Me:Interesting. We should get the QJ-Investigator on this case.
Macca: QJ-Bot? He's a great guy.
Me: it might be, but i saw a new Supervisor, called QJ-Investigator.
Macca: It's probably Mysticales trying to act like he has more power than he really does.
Me: The account had too much humour.
Macca: Hmm. Mysticales can be funny. What's not funny about focusing on the head?
Macca: Sick sense of humour I guess. I think it might have something to do with a childhood incident.
[Rest of Conversation about QJ-Bot edited for Confidentiality.]
Macca: There's only 1 person worse than Strangler.
Me: Steven and the Triads???
Macca: No. The almightly Goldrush.
Me: What about gotuk?!
Macca: GOTUK had honor. That takes guts. And a sexy ass.
Me:And an insane fetish for boys from the backstreet alley.
Macca: Who doesn't have a fetish for them? I still think that GOTUK is really Phil. [Rest of Conversation about GOTUK edited because the Backstreet Boys song is too hot for QJ.]
Me:Well, he was an englishmen.
Macca: But really, who isn't?
Me: gman. Was he not Alaskan?
Macca: Alaska is technically still part of the motherland.
Me: Ahh, but it was originally part of Russia.
[Rest of Conversation about Alaska edited for Content]
Macca: Do you not want to ask me about my turbulant past growing up as the only black child in a white community?
Me: I wanted to ask how conditions were in Niger.
Macca: Niger please?
Macca: Oh, I don't want to talk about it. Too emotially draining.
Me: What about Nigeria?
Macca: **** Nigeria. They stole my first 6 kids.
Me: What about the time you ventured to Kenya?
Macca: I was arrested for leading the rebellion.
Me: Did they murder your son?
Macca: I was only saved by Zoidberg. No, they manslaughtered him.
Me: Was Zoidberg your next baby carrier?
Macca: **** no, he was retarded.
Me: Its like when Trigun and Master Chief argue. They'll read the whole argument because of its stupidity and good humour.
Macca: Trigun actually used to be really really cool. And then he turned gay.
Me: And what time did he..."turn gay"?
Macca: When he changed his name to something stupid.It was firstname.lastname@example.org
, and then he changed it to some japanese **** I think
Me:And why exactly does Mister Chief hate him so much?
Macca: He doesn't. Mister Chief does it for the attention. And slightly because it's fun.
Me: What area of NZ do you live in?
Macca: The ghetto. Not really. But my school is pretty gangsta.
Me: Drive by? Drugs? Sex? Whores? Maori gangs? Russians? Triads?
Macca: Not so much the drive by. Drugs, sex, whores, maori gangs, most def. Russians and Triads tend to stay on the internet
Macca: There's one in my year. I don't like him.
Me: Racial prejudice?
Macca: No, I just don't like him
Me: I heard if i came there [NZ] in the future that i would get raped by you two. [Macca and Mister Chief]. Is this correct?
Macca: Partly. See, it's only rape if you don't enjoy it. So, it'd be rape when Mister Chief does it.
Me: Maybe, but ive been through rape so many times that its not painful anymore...Would that still be rape then?
Macca: Would you really want to have sex with Mister Chief?
Me: If he pays good.
Macca: Then it's not rape, it's prostitution, which is legal here.
[Rest of Conversation about Rape, removed for content]
Me: If it makes you feel good, so far, this has been the most interesting interview.
Macca:It does. I'm all warm and fuzzy inside.
Me: You should be, since your a cookie.
Macca: So, yea. What's your favourite food?
Macca: Awesome. Favorite TV show?
Me: Sex and the City
Macca: Good choice. So tell us a little bit more about yourself.
Me: I grew up in south America. Argentina to be exact. From Age 0-4 i helped my mother milk cows and raise dogs in the farm. And when i turned 5 i would help my dad spread seeds, and at age 6 i got to slaughter my first dog!
Macca: And to think. I just went to kindergarten and teased the odd kid.
Me: But wait, theres more.
Macca: What's this? An informercial?
Me: If you call in the next 3 seconds, you get the rest of the story PLUS and interactive autobiography. BUT WAIT. Just imagine getting this whole deal, and now double it! Yes thats right, you get 2 for the price of one!
Macca: Ill take 7.
Me: Plus, as a holiday discount, we'll make it half off.
Macca: Make that 6. As long as you tell the rest of the story!
Me: Then i ran away because i wanted crazy adventure, and eventually came to the east side of Brazil.
Macca: When you were 6?
Me: 6 1/2. I joined a caravan.
Me: We joined a pirate ship and sailed to Africa and i joined a renegade Zulu Tribe to fight the ******* english.
Macca: I respect that.