MD Party Room - Chat

[L_o_N_e_R]

LOL

http://rinkworks.com/stupid/cs_revenge.shtml





:ROFL:

[Phil]

What is c walking?

I've never heard of it.

[SimplyTheBest]

whats that mean?

That your doing the "C-Walk" inside a new "territory"

[SimplyTheBest]

Customer: "When I touch the sound card board at the back of my PC, I can feel electric current."
Tech Support: "Then don't touch it."
lol....

Tech Support: "Tech support."
Customer: "Yeah, every time I get on the Internet and leave my computer, I get disconnected."
Tech Support: "How long are you away from your computer?"
Customer: "About 10-20 minutes."
Tech Support: "Sir, if you're idle for more than 15 minutes, we disconnect you."
Customer: "Well don't disconnect me!"
Tech Support: "It's not us, sir -- it's the servers, they do it automatically."
Customer: "Change it, then."
Tech Support: "I can't."
Customer: "Yes you can!"
Tech Support: "Sir, I'm not allowed to."
Customer: "I pay for this service, and dammit, you're going to change it!"
Tech Support: "Sir, I'm not allowed to change it. Bottom line."
Customer: "And why not!?"
Tech Support: "Because I'm not the administrator."
Customer: "Well tell him to change it!"
Tech Support: "I can't do that either. The administrator hates me."
Customer: "Why?"
Tech Support: "Because I won our last Nerf tournament."
Customer: "Nerf tournament?! I pay you guys to play with toys?"
Tech Support: "We do it in our spare time."
Customer: "I want to talk to your supervisor!"
Tech Support: "Sorry, but my supervisor is the administrator, and he's busy."
Customer: "Well, I'm going to rat you out about your little Nerf gun secret!"
Tech Support: "Tell the owner -- it'll give him more of a reason to come down here to play with us."
He hung up.

[gmansixfo]

That your doing the "C-Walk" inside a new "territory"

whatever

[L_o_N_e_R]

My senior year in high school, I spent about half my school day helping the computer teacher and helping to administer the school network. We had a program on the network that would allow you to pull up the screen of another computer and control it remotely. I was bored one day, and so I logged myself in as the administrator and proceeded to "check up" on the students in the computer room to see what they were working on. I found one girl I knew typing a steamy letter and decided to scare her a bit. I started by erasing a few of the characters in her letter. She paused for a minute, but then continued typing, so I did it again. This time, she paused for a longer period and then started backspacing her whole letter. I then wrote "hello" on her screen. After a while she finally responded, and we got a bit of a conversation going.

She asked who this was, and I told her I was stuck in her computer and couldn't get out. She fell for it and asked how she could help. I told her she needed to lick the computer screen. She said she did. I didn't believe her, but I continued: I said she needed to stand up and act like a chicken. A minute passed, and she said she did that, too. I didn't thinks he had, and this time I told her so, but she responded by saying that not only had she done what I asked but had gotten detention for it.

An hour later, I went into the computer room, and the teacher told me that he had had to give a student detention. I asked why, and he said that he was watching her and all of a sudden she licked her computer screen and stood up and acted like a chicken. It was all I could do to keep from laughing.





LOL :ROFL:

[gmansixfo]

hahahah nice

[L_o_N_e_R]

This is a true account of personal trial, which happened while I was working Tech Support for a company which sold Stock Analysis software. The company would sell data to its customers who would download said data from the company's database on a daily basis. Their listing of data was, therefore, kept on their hard drive, along with the data itself.

* Me: "Thank you for calling, how can I help you?"
* Him: "Yeah, I want my data back. You need my phone number?"
* Me: "Back? What's happened to your data?"
* Him: "It's gone. I need it back. Let's get this going, hmmm?"
* Me: "Ummm...sir, what happened to it?"
* Him: "Don't you worry about that. Just give me my freaking data."
* Me: "Well, we have several options for data replacement. If you can send us a listing of the stocks you had--"
* Him: "Send you a list? I don't have time for this [email protected]*#$!&. Give me my data."
* Me: "Uh, unfortunately, it's not that easy. We can--"
* Him: "Look, buddy, don't jerk me around. Just press your little whachamajiggers there, zip me down my data, and we're good, ok?"
* Me: "Well, sir, these are your options. You can--"
* Him: "*$#& you, you stupid &#&$! Stick those options up your @#$*! Why won't you give me my data!?!?"

For the next half hour, I try to explain amidst all the interruptions that he is going to have to pay for the replacement data, either by downloading it again or by getting it on disk from us, and that it would be Monday at the earliest (this was Friday, one hour before closing) before he got it back regardless of which method he chose. This, of course, was unacceptable and resulted in me being subjected to more tirades of ridiculous cursing and genetic analysis. Finally, just to change the subject (he refused to hang up, which I was hoping for), I inquired further into the whereabouts of his missing data.

* Me: "Sir, what exactly was it that happened to your data?"
* Him: "You have it there! What the hell is in your head?"
* Me: "What happened to the data you used to have?"
* Him: "Well, this is a new computer, and I need it here, if you morons can handle that."
* Me: "Oh! Well, we can transfer it from the old machine. Is it--"
* Him: "Nope, nope, can't do that. It's dead."
* Me: "Dead?"
* Him: "That's right, dead. Your software killed it, so I threw it away."
* Me: "You...threw it away? What was wrong with it?"
* Him: "What are you, deaf?!? It wouldn't work any more, the monitor, laser printer, nothing, so I threw it all away."
* Me: "You threw away the printer?!?"
* Him: "Yeah, damn thing cost me $8000 to replace it all, and I'm gonna sue you guys!"
* Me: "Well, um, what was wrong with it? Did it get hit by lightning or something?"
* Him: "I told you, your software killed it! You got @#!+ in your ears? I put your $#^&*# disk in, and the whole computer just died."
* Me: "Died."
* Him: "That's right, pooboy!! It wouldn't load anymore, not even windows, just a blank screen with some gobbledy**** babble on it."
* Me: "What babble was this? An error message?"
* Him: "You're damn right, an error message, caused by your software!!! I hope you can clean toilets, buddy!"
* Me: "Do you have the error message written down somewhere?"
* Him: "Well, Mr. Smartypants, as a matter of fact I do! And I'm gonna use it in court to see you in rags!"
* Me: "What's it say?"
* Him: (rustle, rustle, curse, curse, mutter) "Ah hah! Here it is! It says, 'Non System Disk or Disk Error!' You'll pay for this!"

At this point, I, and the other techs who were listening in by now, shared a great laugh, which I didn't bother to mute.

* Me: "Sir, you will be happy to know that you threw away a perfectly good $8000 set of machinery because you were stupid enough to leave a disk in the drive."
* Him: (long silence) "...well, I'm still gonna sue you guys..."
* Me: "I want front row seats in the courtroom. Have a nice evening." (click)

Epilogue: When he called back on Monday, the manager terminated his account for abusive behavior for that record two minutes, thirty-eight second call.


mega LOL
:ROFL:

[L_o_N_e_R]

heres more...


http://rinkworks.com/stupid/

[gmansixfo]

wow i cant read that much

[SimplyTheBest]

This is a true account of personal trial, which happened while I was working Tech Support for a company which sold Stock Analysis software. The company would sell data to its customers who would download said data from the company's database on a daily basis. Their listing of data was, therefore, kept on their hard drive, along with the data itself.

* Me: "Thank you for calling, how can I help you?"
* Him: "Yeah, I want my data back. You need my phone number?"
* Me: "Back? What's happened to your data?"
* Him: "It's gone. I need it back. Let's get this going, hmmm?"
* Me: "Ummm...sir, what happened to it?"
* Him: "Don't you worry about that. Just give me my freaking data."
* Me: "Well, we have several options for data replacement. If you can send us a listing of the stocks you had--"
* Him: "Send you a list? I don't have time for this [email protected]*#$!&. Give me my data."
* Me: "Uh, unfortunately, it's not that easy. We can--"
* Him: "Look, buddy, don't jerk me around. Just press your little whachamajiggers there, zip me down my data, and we're good, ok?"
* Me: "Well, sir, these are your options. You can--"
* Him: "*$#& you, you stupid &#&$! Stick those options up your @#$*! Why won't you give me my data!?!?"

For the next half hour, I try to explain amidst all the interruptions that he is going to have to pay for the replacement data, either by downloading it again or by getting it on disk from us, and that it would be Monday at the earliest (this was Friday, one hour before closing) before he got it back regardless of which method he chose. This, of course, was unacceptable and resulted in me being subjected to more tirades of ridiculous cursing and genetic analysis. Finally, just to change the subject (he refused to hang up, which I was hoping for), I inquired further into the whereabouts of his missing data.

* Me: "Sir, what exactly was it that happened to your data?"
* Him: "You have it there! What the hell is in your head?"
* Me: "What happened to the data you used to have?"
* Him: "Well, this is a new computer, and I need it here, if you morons can handle that."
* Me: "Oh! Well, we can transfer it from the old machine. Is it--"
* Him: "Nope, nope, can't do that. It's dead."
* Me: "Dead?"
* Him: "That's right, dead. Your software killed it, so I threw it away."
* Me: "You...threw it away? What was wrong with it?"
* Him: "What are you, deaf?!? It wouldn't work any more, the monitor, laser printer, nothing, so I threw it all away."
* Me: "You threw away the printer?!?"
* Him: "Yeah, damn thing cost me $8000 to replace it all, and I'm gonna sue you guys!"
* Me: "Well, um, what was wrong with it? Did it get hit by lightning or something?"
* Him: "I told you, your software killed it! You got @#!+ in your ears? I put your $#^&*# disk in, and the whole computer just died."
* Me: "Died."
* Him: "That's right, pooboy!! It wouldn't load anymore, not even windows, just a blank screen with some gobbledy**** babble on it."
* Me: "What babble was this? An error message?"
* Him: "You're damn right, an error message, caused by your software!!! I hope you can clean toilets, buddy!"
* Me: "Do you have the error message written down somewhere?"
* Him: "Well, Mr. Smartypants, as a matter of fact I do! And I'm gonna use it in court to see you in rags!"
* Me: "What's it say?"
* Him: (rustle, rustle, curse, curse, mutter) "Ah hah! Here it is! It says, 'Non System Disk or Disk Error!' You'll pay for this!"

At this point, I, and the other techs who were listening in by now, shared a great laugh, which I didn't bother to mute.

* Me: "Sir, you will be happy to know that you threw away a perfectly good $8000 set of machinery because you were stupid enough to leave a disk in the drive."
* Him: (long silence) "...well, I'm still gonna sue you guys..."
* Me: "I want front row seats in the courtroom. Have a nice evening." (click)

Epilogue: When he called back on Monday, the manager terminated his account for abusive behavior for that record two minutes, thirty-eight second call.


mega LOL
:ROFL:

:ROFL: This is such a sweet find!!!!!
@Gman: Im just playing, I know your not a *** who did his dad...

[gmansixfo]

k the vid is done! right here: http://youtube.com/watch?v=rS9jPPMgEDk

[SimplyTheBest]

I had trouble downloading an operating system upgrade for a PDA, so I called tech support.

Me: "I can't seem to get this download to complete. What might be causing it?"
Tech Support: "What operating system are you running?"
Me: "Windows NT."
Tech Support: "Well, you have to be running Windows 98 or better in order to download it."
Me: "Ummm, I am. I'm running Windows NT4, SP5."
Tech Support: "Are you on a PC or a MAC?"
lol

[madsoul]

like my new sig everyone?

[gmansixfo]

nice.

[SimplyTheBest]

like my new sig everyone?

:Jump: yes, I do ;) :)

[L_o_N_e_R]

* Tech Support: "Ok, ma'am, I need you to do a ctrl-alt-del."
* Customer: "How do I do that?"
* Tech Support: "Push and hold 'ctrl' and 'alt' at the same time, and then hit 'delete'."
* Customer: "Where are those?"
* Tech Support: (explains the location of the keys)
* Customer: "Nothing happened."
* Tech Support: "Try again."
* Customer: "Still nothing."

A minute or two later....

* Customer: "Should I turn my computer on? Would that help?"
* Tech Support: "Yeah, it might."


LOL

[SimplyTheBest]

* Tech Support: "Ok, ma'am, I need you to do a ctrl-alt-del."
* Customer: "How do I do that?"
* Tech Support: "Push and hold 'ctrl' and 'alt' at the same time, and then hit 'delete'."
* Customer: "Where are those?"
* Tech Support: (explains the location of the keys)
* Customer: "Nothing happened."
* Tech Support: "Try again."
* Customer: "Still nothing."

A minute or two later....

* Customer: "Should I turn my computer on? Would that help?"
* Tech Support: "Yeah, it might."


LOL

lol...
Customer: "Internet Explorer insists on opening everything I try to download with Quicktime."
Tech Support: "Ok."
Customer: "So whenever I click on anything that I want to download it tries to open it with Quicktime."
Tech Support: "Are you sure that its not a Quicktime file?"
Customer: "No it's an exe file."
Tech Support: "So it's not a Quicktime file?"
Customer: "No, and I can't right click either, to do a Save Target As."
Tech Support: "Oh, but you're sure it's not a Quicktime file, right?"
Customer: "Yes, it is an executable file, DOT E X E, not DOT M O V."
Tech Support: "Is it a .exe that can be opened in Quicktime?"

Talk about a dumbass!

[Phil]

k the vid is done! right here: http://youtube.com/watch?v=rS9jPPMgEDk

so why's it called a c walk?

[gmansixfo]

so why's it called a c walk?

http://www.hiphopjamz.com/breakdance_cripwalk.php

[TheMarioKarters]

k the vid is done! right here: http://youtube.com/watch?v=rS9jPPMgEDk

WOW, that's awesome.

[Phil]

http://www.hiphopjamz.com/breakdance_cripwalk.php

ah cool. no wonder i didn't know. im not into all that sort of music.

[gmansixfo]

it took me 6 years to learn all that, now a days it takes about 3 months. now ppl use tutorials and stuff i didnt use anything, not even music!

[L_o_N_e_R]

* Tech Support: "I need you to boot the computer."
* Customer: (THUMP! Pause.) "No, that didn't help."


omg..................lol

[Phil]

it took me 6 years to learn all that, now a days it takes about 3 months. now ppl use tutorials and stuff i didnt use anything, not even music!

lol. i suppose you need to have a bit of "jive" before you can even think about starting. I'm so rigid theres no way I would even try. I like singing tho, I do it (badly) all the time. Karaoke is awesome fun.

edit: I might record some of my wailing next time I do it. I'm sure everyone could do with a laugh.

[SimplyTheBest]

k the vid is done! right here: http://youtube.com/watch?v=rS9jPPMgEDk

Its ok, but you look exhausted 10% of the time in the video which screws with your performence

[gmansixfo]

Its ok, but you look exhausted 10% of the time in the video which screws with your performence

hahahahaha id like to see you do better, its really freaking hard
U WILL NEVER LEARN!

[SimplyTheBest]

* Tech Support: "I need you to boot the computer."
* Customer: (THUMP! Pause.) "No, that didn't help."


omg..................lol

LOL!!!!

[SimplyTheBest]

hahahahaha id like to see you do better, its really freaking hard
U WILL NEVER LEARN!

Im not a west-coast gangstur

[TheMarioKarters]

Im an east-coast wankstur

True that.