what really happened in star wars...
ok, first things first. there was no empire, no rebels, no war, no "sith lord" (yet), heck there wasnt even anything called "the force".
What really happened was...yoda was feeling very..lonely. SO, he got his friend, Windu, to help him with his problem.
A day later, Windu told Yoda that he got someone waiting in a room for him. Yoda went to the room and Windu went to the room's window. When Yoda went into the room, it was Padme! (dun DUN DUN!!!)
Windu, being a sick freak, was at the window. Yoda knew Padme was Anakin's bride-to-be, so he thought "Well, they're not married YET, so it isnt wrong. I'll think of it as a female-bachelor party."
So before you know it, Padme is with Yoda under the covers with Yoda saying "Force pull, force push, force pull..." repeatedly. Windu was watching with his head low so that just his eyes and bald head could be seen.
That's when Anakin came in. (dun DUN DUN!!!) Anakin saw what was going on and got so angry that he..BECAME A SITH LORD!
(Sith Lords are basically when someone gets REALLY mad..)
Anakin lightning strikes at Yoda, but Yoda uses Padme as a human shield and lives. The lightning spread and hit Windu. Windu screamed like the most insecure little girl in world. Padme died instantly, Windu soon after.
Yoda quickly force pushed himself out the window and ran away.
Yoda later at the jedi temple, said that Obi-Wan was responsible to cover Windu's involvement. Later, Yoda went to the scene of the incident and saw Windu's sizzled body laying below the window.
"Oh dear. Sorry, I am Obi-Wan."
Thats how Obi-Wan and Anakin became enemies. Thats how there was a "Sith lord". And thats how Padme died.
George Lucas produced a series spanning six films that captured the whole world's attention under the influence of ..crack!
Thats right, under the influence of crack, George Lucas was able to turn a 10 min quarrel into several hours of millions of dollars gross films.
Thats what truly happened in the world of star wars.
(This was made to amuse people, George Lucas was not really influenced by crack)
Hope you had a laugh out of this!